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28 Posts
5/18
Posted - Jun 3 2018 : 9:49PM
Space, the final frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterpuss. Its' continuing mission, to explore strange new worlds. To seek out...(well, you know the rest)
Cast of characters: Captain James T. Kink...First Officer Mr. Scock...Dr. DcCoy (AKA Stones)...Chief Engineer Hott, female (AKA Hottie)...Communications Officer Ooh Ooh Ra...Lieutenant Screwloo...Lieutenant Jackoff...Nurse Fapple (AKA Christine)
(We see the Starship Enterpuss docked at a space station as we hear Captain Kink in voiceover)..."Captain's log, star date six nine, six nine. With the Enterpuss undergoing repairs, Dr. DcCoy and I had some time to catch up on old times as well as discussing some new issues including my choice for my new first officer."
(The scene switches to Kink's quarters as we see the two sitting across from each other) (DcCoy) "I don't know Jim. There's something about Mr. Scock that makes me believe you should consider someone else for first officer." (Kink) "What exactly are you concerned about?" (DcCoy is about to answer when the door chime goes off)
(Kink) "Enter." (The door opens and Scock enters) (Scock) "Captain, engineering has completed repairs. The Enterpuss is set to go on your command."
(Kink) "Thank you Mr. Scock. I'll be on the bridge shortly." (Scock after lifting his right hand to show the Vulcan greeting with his index and middle finger separated from his ring and pinky finger) "Live long and prosper." (Scock then exits)
(Kink) "He seems fine to me, Stones." (DcCoy) "It's a good thing you're not a doctor." (Kink) "What's that supposed to mean?" (DcCoy) "As ships physician, I'm responsible for performing complete physical examinations on every man, woman and alien on board the Enterpuss." (Kink) "Your point, Stones?" (DcCoy) "My point is I just gave Mr. Scock his. He just flipped you the Vulcan equivalent of the finger."...to be continued.

Member

28 Posts
5/18
Posted - Jun 3 2018 : 10:19PM
continued
(Kink) "You're saying Scock has two of them?" (DcCoy after nodding his head, yes) "I tell you, Jim, I've never seen anything like it. He can make them move in any direction, independently of each other and at different speeds. It wouldn't surprise me at all if he could tie his shoes with them." (Kink) "Come on? Tie his shoes?" (DcCoy) "I kid you not, Jim. Nurse Fapple was so frightened by them, that she locked herself in the bathroom and wouldn't come out. I could actually hear her moaning in fear while she was in there."
(Kink) "She was so scared, she was moaning?" (DcCoy after nodding his head again) "And loudly too. She was in the bathroom so long, I had to get Hottie to beam her out. Oh, by the way, you need to have somebody check that transporter. When it beamed Nurse Fapple out, her uniform was rearranged, like someone had been trying to rip it off and it didn't even beam her panties with her. It just left them on the bathroom floor."
(Kink) "I'll have Hottie look into it." (Just then we hear Ooh Ooh Ra on the communicator) "Ooh Ooh Ra to Captain Kink." (Kink) "Kink here, go ahead Ooh Ooh Ra." (Ooh Ooh Ra) "Captain, there's an urgent message from Starfleet. Captain's eyes only." (Kink) "Thank you Ooh Ooh Ra. Patch it through to my quarters." (Ooh Ooh Ra) "Aye sir."
(DcCoy) "I suppose this is where I make my exit." (Kink) "Duty calls, Stones." (After DcCoy leaves, Kink takes the message as we see an older man on the viewing screen) (Kink) "Admiral Hollings, to what do I owe this pleasure?" (Hollings) "No need for formalities, Jim. Captain's eyes only, remember?" (Kink) "I appreciate that. What can I do for you?" (Hollings) "I hate to do this to you, Jim. Starfleet has a new assignment for you."
(Kink) "No problems. The Enterpuss is always glad to be of service." (Hollings) "That's good to hear. We need you to plot a course for Tallis 5. There, you will be picking up two passengers, one of whom you're very familiar with...Captain Pike." (Kink) "You mean...?" (Hollings)That's right. The former captain of the Enterpuss."...to be continued.

Member

28 Posts
5/18
Posted - Jun 3 2018 : 10:37PM
continued
(Kink) "Who's the other passenger?" (Hollings) "I'm not at liberty to say. Captain Pike will fill you in about that. Now, once you pick them up, you are to turn command of the ship back to Captain Pike, understood?" (Kink) "Understood." (Hollings) "I wish I could tell you more, but I can't." (Kink) "I understand." (Hollings) "Good." (then after a long pause) "There's something I feel I must warn you about...Captain Pike has had extensive surgery." (Kink) "Extensive surgery? Was there some kind of accident?"
(Hollings) "Once again, I'm not at liberty to say. I just wanted you to be prepared." (after another long pause) "The Captain Pike you and I both knew no longer exists." (Kink) "I see. Well, thanks for the heads up." (Hollings) "You have your mission. Good luck, Jim. This message will self destruct in five seconds."
(The scene switches to outside Kink's quarters as we hear an explosion, followed by Kink exiting his quarters with dirt on his face and uniform and smoke coming out the door as he stumbles and then falls to the floor on his back. Several crew members gather around as one of them kneels down and asks Kink..."Captain, are you alright?"...Kink lifts his head up and whispers something into the crewman's ear before his head falls back to the floor. Another crewman asks..."What did he say?"... The first crewman looks up and with a confused look on his face says..."He said he really wishes Admiral Hollings would learn the difference between five seconds and one second.")...to be continued.

Member

28 Posts
5/18
Posted - Jun 3 2018 : 11:00PM
continued
(The scene switches as we see The Enterpuss approaching a planet that's in the background. At the same time we hear Kink in voiceover) "Captain's log, star date six nine, six nine, point one. While I appreciated Admiral Hollings warning about Captain Pike, I can't help but feel apprehensive about our meeting." (The scene switches and shows Kink entering the transporter room as he continues to speak in voiceover) "In many ways, I wish I didn't know, but the time has arrived and there's no turning back."
(We see Hottie at the transporter controls as Kink takes a deep breath before saying..."Energize."...We then see two figures appearing before our eyes, one just a man's head sticking out of what looks like a giant blue box with a round light positioned just below his neck. His face is also disfigured) (Kink with a shocked look on his face as he approaches) "My God! What happened to you? Captain Pike, my friend, you used to be so young, so vibrant...and now look at you...A hideous lump of flesh attached to...attached to...What the Hell is this thing anyway? (We hear a series of three beeps with short pauses in between with the round light flashing in sequence with the beeps) (Kink) "Speak to me, man!" (three beeps go off again)
(Kink) "My God! You can't even talk? How terrible it must be for you!" (Three beeps go off again as we hear a woman's voice say..."Captain."...Kink looks up as he and we see a beautiful woman standing in the transporter area) (Kink with a big smile on his face) "Well hello there." (Then after looking back to the man in the box) "Hold on to that thought." (Then Kink walks up to the woman as we continue to hear the three beeps) (Kink to the woman) "Captain James T. Kink at you service. And you are?" (Woman) "Captain Pike." (Kink no longer smiling) "Christopher?" (Pike) "These days I prefer to be called Chissy."...to be continued.

Member

28 Posts
5/18
Posted - Jun 3 2018 : 11:32PM
continued
(Kink) "But if you're...? Then who...?" (Pike) "He's Awk Sen Ott, a retired Starfleet goodwill ambassador." (Kink) "What happened to him?" (Pike) "Nothing happened to him. He's what's known as a Tulusion." (Kink) "A Tulusion?" (Pike nods her head) (Kink) "What's the blue contraption for?" (Pike) "Tulusions have very weak immune systems and suffer from digestive issues. That contraption, as you call it, is a unit that monitors everything that goes on in his body and adjusts accordingly to ensure everything is functioning properly. It also allows him to communicate, though in a very basic manner, one beep for yes and two beeps for no."
(We continue to hear the three beeps with short pauses in between) (Kink) "What about three beeps? He's been doing that pretty much non stop since I spoke to him." (Pike) "That's how Tulusions cry." (Kink) "Oh...I see...I suppose an apology is in order." (Pike) "You won't get an argument from me."
(Kink after walking back to the ambassador) "I can't even begin to tell you how sorry I am." (The beeps become less frequent) "It's just that...it's just that when I saw you, I thought...I thought you were Captain Pike and...well, things just got off on the wrong foot." (Kink after turning to look at Pike) "He does have a foot, right?" (The three beeps increase again) (Pike) "Jim, please keep it on message." (Kink) "Of course." (Then turns back to face the ambassador) "My apologies again...You know what? You look like you could use some cheering up and I know just the thing...a tour of The Enterpuss. How would you like that?" (Three beeps keep going off) (Hottie to Kink) "He can't stop crying." (Kink) "Or maybe he just said yes three times."
(Hottie) "It's hard to tell, but maybe a tour of The Enterpuss will cheer him up." (Kink) "And I know just the person to take him." (Hottie) "And who would that be, Captain?" (Kink) "You're looking at him, Hottie." (Kink after getting behind the ambassador) "Don't worry Ambassador, you're in good hands." (Kink pushes and the next thing you know, the unit falls off the edge of the transporter deck and tumbles as we hear the three beeps increase) (Kink to no one in particular) "All this technology and not a single ramp off the transporter deck."
(Kink tries to push the box to right it as it tumbles before coming to a stop) (Kink) "My God! Where's his head?" (Pike) "That's the bottom of the unit."...to be continued.
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Member

28 Posts
5/18
Posted - Jun 3 2018 : 11:57PM
continued
(Kink) "Hottie, Christopher! Help me turn him back up." (All three get on one side) (Kink) "On the count of three...one...two...three!" (They give it a shove as the unit flips and flips and still ends up upside down as we continue to hear the beeps) (Kink) "The unit must be top heavy."(Pike) "This isn't good. We have to turn him over now...or else." (Kink) "Or else what?" (Pike) "Remember when I said Tulusions have digestive issues?" (Both Kink and Hottie nod their heads) (Pike) "Think of the unit as a giant outhouse. Instead of collecting waste, now it's disposing of it...right back where it came from." (Hottie and Kink while looking at each other) "Eeeewww!" (Pike) "So what are we going to do?"
(Hottie) "Captain, I think I can lock onto him with the transporter and beam him right side up." (Kink) "That sounds like a good idea. Do it." (Hottie starts working the controls as we hear the transporter powering up. We then see the unit as it slowly disappears) (Hottie) "Now I just need to reverse the polarity and beam him back." (We hear the transporter powering up again, but nothing happens) (Hottie) "Uh oh." (Kink) "Hottie, where is he?" (Hottie) "I don't know, Captain. I can't seem to locate him."
(Kink) "What do you mean you can't locate him?" (Pike) "We have to get him back." (Kink to Hottie) "Let me at the controls." (Kink starts messing with the controls as we hear the transporter powering up and down) (Hottie) "I don't think you should be doing that, Captain." (Kink) "Don't interrupt me, Hottie. I think I'm getting the hang of it." (Pike) "You should listen to Hottie. A transporter is nothing to play around with." (Just then, the ambassador starts to appear again) (Kink) "Still say I shouldn't be playing around?"
(The ambassador disappears again) (Kink) "Almost got it." (Hottie) "Captain, according to the locator, he's back." (Kink) "I don't see him." (Hottie) "There he is! On the ceiling!" (We hear a loud crash) (Hottie) "Was on the ceiling."...to be continued.

Member

28 Posts
5/18
Posted - Jun 4 2018 : 12:16AM
continued
(Kink) "Well, at least he's right side up now." (Hottie) "Why is his face green?" (Pike) "His system is being poisoned! We have to get him to sickbay, now!" (Kink) "No problem, I'll just beam him in there...Captain Kink to Dr. DcCoy." (DcCoy) "DcCoy here, go ahead Jim." (Kink) "Stones, we have a medical emergency. I'm beaming the patient into sickbay now. Stand by." (DcCoy) "Acknowledged." (We hear the transporter powering up again as the ambassador slowly disappears) (Kink) "Have you received the patient, Stones?" (DcCoy) "All I see is a giant blue box. What do you expect me to do with this? I'm a doctor, not a mechanic." (Pike) " He must be upside down again." (Kink) " Stand by, Stones. I'll try again."
(We hear the transporter powering up again as we see the ambassador appear and slowly disappear again) (Kink) "How about now, Stones?" (DcCoy) "No, I don't see him...Oh, wait! There he is, on the ceiling!" (We hear a loud crashing sound again) (DcCoy) "Was on the ceiling." (Kink) "Can you see his head?" (DcCoy) "No, all I see is this hideous lump of green flesh." (We hear the three beeps again) (Kink) "That is his head." (DcCoy) "My God! What do you expect me to do with this? I'm a doctor, not a miracle worker." (The three beeps increase even more) (Kink) "Just do like you always do, the best that you can. Kink out."...to be continued.

Member

28 Posts
5/18
Posted - Jun 4 2018 : 12:35AM
continued
(Pike) "I should go to sickbay too." (Kink) "Christopher...I mean Chrissy...Relax, Dr. DcCoy is the finest physician in Starfleet. The Ambassador is in good hands." (Pike) "But..." (Kink) "But nothing. Trust me, if DcCoy can't fix him, no one can. Besides, you have a ship to run." (Pike) "Oh...about that...I won't be taking command for now. My only order to you, for the moment, is to set a course for the Sappho System."
(Kink) "The Sappho System? That's forbidden territory." (Pike) "I know. That's why this mission is so top secret. Once we get there, I'll relieve you of your command." (Kink) "May I ask what this mission is about?" (Pike) "Unfortunately, I'm not at liberty to say. I'll let you know more when we get there. In the meantime, I understand Mr. Scock is now serving as your first officer, am I correct?"
(Kink) "He is." (Pike) "If he isn't too busy, I would very much like to visit with him." (Kink) "Of course. Hottie will show you to your quarters and I'll have Scock visit you there." (Pike) "Thank you." (Hottie to Pike) "Just follow me, Captain." (Pike follows Hottie out of the transporter room.)

Member

28 Posts
5/18
Posted - Jun 4 2018 : 12:50AM
continued
(We see Pike in her quarters as Scock enters) (Pike) "Mr. Scock! So glad to finally meet you. My father has told me so much about you...even about the...well, you know...that extra thing you have." (Scock) "How is your father?" (Pike) "You already know how is or else you would have never requested this mission." (Scock) "And where is your father now?" (Pike) "He's in sickbay. Your captain did his very best to try and kill him." (Scock) "That is not logical." (Pike after chuckling) "Yup, my father told me you said that a lot too."
(Scock) "Does Captain Kink know that you are Captain Pike's daughter?" (Pike) "No...and he mustn't know. He thinks I'm my father and that's the way it must remain. This is the only way the mission will succeed. As of this moment, I'm your commanding officer. You'll be taking your orders from Captain Kink just as you would ordinarily, but ultimately, you answer to me. Understood?" (Scock) "Understood." (Pike) "Good. I'll call on you as needed. You're dismissed." (Scock after showing the Vulcan greeting sign) "Live long and prosper." (Pike with an angry look on her facing while also flashing the Vulcan greeting sign) "Same to you, asshole!" (Scock has a confused look on his face as he leaves)...to be continued.

Member

28 Posts
5/18
Posted - Jun 4 2018 : 1:14AM
continued
(We see Kink walking down a hallway as we hear him in voiceover) "Captain's log, star date six nine, six nine point two. With The Enterpuss on course for the Sappho System and time on my hands, I've decided to check in with Dr. DcCoy to see how the ambassador is doing."
(We see him enter sickbay) (Kink) "How's our patient doing?" (DcCoy) "He's resting comfortably." (Kink) "Can I see him?" (DcCoy) "Of course. Right this way." (They go to the examination room) (Kink) "Why is his face still green?" (DcCoy) "Isn't that his normal color?" (Kink) "No, it's only green because his system is being poisoned." (DcCoy) "Why didn't you say so? I thought he was in here because of that annoying beeping sound."
(Kink) "That's just how he communicates. One beep for yes, two beeps for no." (DcCoy) "Well, he was beeping three times." (Kink) "That's how he cries." (DcCoy) "What was he crying for?" (Kink) "It could be for any number of reasons, but if I were a betting man, I'd say it was because he didn't get to go on a tour of The Enterpuss that I promised him." (DcCoy) "He must have really wanted to go on that tour, the way he was crying."
(Kink) "How did you get him to stop?" (DcCoy) "Well, I noticed every time he beeped, that light just under his head would flash, so I came to the conclusion if I could get the light to stop flashing, the beeps would stop too." (Kink) "So what did you do?" (DcCoy) "Well, as you know, I'm a country doctor. Never make a problem more complicated than it is...and that's where Mr. Hammer comes in."
(Kink) "You hit it with a hammer?" (DcCoy) "Not exactly." (Kink) "Then what exactly?" (DcCoy) "Let's just say I'm a little out of practice and missed the target." (Kink) "You missed?" (DcCoy) "Don't worry, it's all good. At least now I know the light was controlled by his head." ...to be continued.

Member

28 Posts
5/18
Posted - Jun 4 2018 : 1:37AM
continued
(Kink) "I guess that explains the bump on his head." (DcCoy) "What bump?" (Kink while pointing) "That bump." (DcCoy) "Oh yeah. I didn't think I hit him that hard." (Kink) "Look, you can see it growing." (DcCoy) "Well I'll be darned, you're right...Nurse!" (Fapple after entering) "Yes doctor." (DcCoy) "Get me 50cc's of hydra inhibitors and 50 cc's of...of..." (Fapple) "Of what, doctor?" (DcCoy) "Just get something." (Kink) "What about the poison in his system?" (DcCoy) "Nurse, just bring me everything we've got."
(Fapple leaves and returns with multiple hypo syringes) (DcCoy) "Let's see...eni, meni, mini...let's try this one." (He injects the ambassador, then everyone watches as his face color returns to normal) (DcCoy) "What do you know? It looks like it's going to work." (Kink) "Good work, Stones. Now, what about the bump?"
(DcCoy) "What about it? It's still there." (Kink)"I know it's still there. Are you going to do something about it?" (DcCoy) "Of course I am. I'm a doctor, aren't I?" (He looks at all the syringes again) "Let's see...eni, meni, mini...let's try this one." (He injects the ambassador again as everyone watches and sees the bump actually shrinking) (Kink) "You have the magic touch, Stones." (The ambassador moves his head side to side as he begins to regain consciousness)
(Kink) "It looks like you've got everything under control. I'll be on the bridge if you need me." (Kink exits as the doof opens and at the same time we start hearing three beeps again followed by DcCoy saying..."Not this again."...followed by a thud sound and the beeping stops.)...to be continued.

Member

28 Posts
5/18
Posted - Jun 4 2018 : 1:55AM
continued
(We see Kink in the turbo lift and just as the door opens to the bridge, the red alert sirens go off) (Kink) "What do we have Mr. Screwloo?" (Screwloo) "We've just encountered some kind of cloud." (Kink) "On screen." (We see what looks like a multi color cloud just hovering) (Kink) "Readings?" (Screwloo) "Sensors aren't picking up anything. It's as if it isn't there." (Kink) "Slow to impulse." (Scewloo) "Aye sir."
(Kink) "Mr. Scock, have you seen anything like this?" (Scock) "No Captain. Nor are there any records of any such phenomenon." (Kink) "All stop." (Scewloo) "Aye sir." (Kink) "Ooh Ooh Ra, let's see if we can communicate with it. Hail it." (Ooh Ooh Ra) "Aye sir...communicating...no response."
(Kink) "Screwloo, plot a course around it." (Screwloo) "Aye sir. Course plotted." (Kink) "Full impulse...engage." (Screwloo) "Aye sir." (We see through the viewer as the ship begins to try to go around and then the cloud moves back in front again) (Kink) "All stop." (Screwloo) "Aye sir, all stop."
(Kink) "What do you make of this, Mr. Scock?" (Scock) "Logic dictates that we are dealing with some form of intelligence, a being or entity that ships sensors are incapable of penetrating." (Kink) "It seems like it wants to keep us here." (Just then the cloud approaches quickly and surrounds the ship.)...to be continued.



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