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All smartbuydisc.rus > Polls > Funniest misuse of a word -aka the 'granite' poll > Funniest misuse of a word -aka the 'granite' poll (page 16)
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AuthorPost

Senior Member

tGrump has no shortage of assholes.
6974 Posts
11/13
Posted - Aug 20 2014 : 5:55PM
A few days ago, in an msnbc interview, a guy said, "We need to get a special prostituter...prosecutor."

Senior Member

03 12 15 16 18 04 07 13 18
2596 Posts
1/09
Posted - Sep 2 2014 : 7:53PM
From Katja Kassin's thread:
"Katja has a very cute butt hole makes me droll everytime i see it and i want to lick it!"

Senior Member

tGrump has no shortage of assholes.
6974 Posts
11/13
Posted - Sep 4 2014 : 6:06PM
Rick Santorum, "The whole sexual libertine idea..."
This was rendered in (msnbc) closed captioning as, "The whole sexual libber teen idea..."

Senior Member

Carryin', contrarian, libertarian
10183 Posts
1/08
Posted - Sep 5 2014 : 1:28PM
^ I support that idea!
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Senior Member

tGrump has no shortage of assholes.
6974 Posts
11/13
Posted - Sep 10 2014 : 10:25PM
Okay, Smallville , fourth season, episode 14.
Jane Seymour as Genevieve, telling her son Jason that in the 17th century, a witch vowed revenge on a woman named Gertrude, and said that she would wipe out Gertrude's heirs.
"We're Gertrude's ancestors, Jason."
She meant descendants, of course. This one is notable because I can't figure how this got past the script, or the editing.
(And, no, I have nothing better to do).

Senior Member

Real news. Fake president.
13914 Posts
3/03
Posted - Oct 16 2014 : 10:53PM

Senior Member

1251 Posts
3/10
Posted - Nov 4 2014 : 4:46PM
A sentence in an online story: "Now it was a major asset in their family coiffeurs."
Apparently the family's major asset is hairdressers. They bring in a lot to the coffers.

Senior Member

1959 Posts
11/07
Posted - Nov 5 2014 : 9:43AM
It's technically not nice to pull up non-native speakers on these things, but as it has appeared in a professional setting - the summary for a scene released by 21Sextury today:

Senior Member

1251 Posts
3/10
Posted - Nov 26 2014 : 1:04AM
From a cheesy online story: "He introduced Patrice as an imminent expert of sculpture"
I guess she's going to become an eminent expert any time now.

Senior Member

1251 Posts
3/10
Posted - Jan 7 2015 : 7:28PM
From another online story: "I was in a strange, almost cereal situation."
Is he immersed in grains? That would be surreal.

Senior Member

03 12 15 16 18 04 07 13 18
2596 Posts
1/09
Posted - Jan 7 2015 : 11:29PM
Don't be ridiculous. He obviously meant to say "serial." He always had to wait a week to find out what happened next.

Senior Member

1251 Posts
3/10
Posted - Jan 18 2015 : 8:27PM
Another mangled line from an online story: "He was an ecliptic reader, dabbling in a bunch of genres."
Yes, he loved to read about the sun's path through the sky. But, he also liked to read of the planets' paths -- he was eclectic in his astronomical tastes.

Senior Member

1251 Posts
3/10
Posted - Jan 21 2015 : 2:45PM
From a movie review on this site: "Barrett seems to have found gameful employment ..."
Perhaps at a video arcade. One hopes at least it is gainful.

Senior Member

Carryin', contrarian, libertarian
10183 Posts
1/08
Posted - Jan 22 2015 : 6:02PM
^ Maybe it's cosplay or Fifty Shades of Gray type stuff.
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All-Star Member

^Lucy Pinder
18722 Posts
4/08
Posted - Jan 25 2015 : 11:42AM
In WN&N yesterday: "Another words being full of shit."
(in other words)

fubar

7535 Posts
12/09
Posted - Feb 1 2015 : 10:46PM
Suzanne Westenhoefer did some lesbian sex ed at a high school. Kids wrote anonymous questions on cards. One asked "When you have a sex with a woman, what do you put in your virginia?"

Senior Member

1959 Posts
11/07
Posted - Feb 13 2015 : 6:31PM
Seen on a video games business site, a remark that one distributor has "made innards" on their main competitor's market share.

Senior Member

tGrump has no shortage of assholes.
6974 Posts
11/13
Posted - Feb 13 2015 : 6:40PM
From a review on amazon of a book of recommendations for improving your eyesight.

fubar

7535 Posts
12/09
Posted - Feb 21 2015 : 7:34PM
"My Girlfriend striping and posing naked" . . . on this couch:
48356642.jpg
 
Doctor of the Erotic Arts

goregoregirl.com
11853 Posts
1/09
Posted - Feb 22 2015 : 9:57AM
 
All-Star Member

^Lucy Pinder
18722 Posts
4/08
Posted - Apr 23 2015 : 10:49PM
In "Star Crossed" today, talking about how a particular group doesn't like tattoos much: "likes...little to know ink..."
(little to no ink)
 
Doctor of the Erotic Arts

goregoregirl.com
11853 Posts
1/09
Posted - May 23 2015 : 3:12PM
From : "...and here is a film which actually shows you the sex, the thing that makes babies, as supposed to the general coy sexiness and come-on glamour that so many other films spend their time promoting."

Senior Member

1251 Posts
3/10
Posted - Jun 11 2015 : 3:21PM
From an online story: "She'd already given her notice to the university, sighting a family emergency."
I guess she could see the emergency coming, hence her citing it as the cause for her leave.
 
Doctor of the Erotic Arts

goregoregirl.com
11853 Posts
1/09
Posted - Jun 29 2015 : 4:20PM

ICpDmyLaegdbMbZ-800x450-noPad.jpg
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All-Star Member

^Lucy Pinder
18722 Posts
4/08
Posted - Jul 20 2015 : 3:32AM
James Deen today: "horrible slogan #534 - / it's like soap for your gentiles except it is basically the complete opposite of that"
(genitals)
This elicited several funny responses, including:
"I didn't think Gentiles had their own soap."
and
"Just gentiles' genitals?"
the unknown pervert
Deactivated User

I'd like to stay but I've got a plane to catch.
17482 Posts
5/06
Posted - Aug 1 2015 : 4:26PM
From a Toronto Blue Jays message board.
Pretty shitty dayview by Lowe.
 
All-Star Member

^Lucy Pinder
18722 Posts
4/08
Posted - Aug 3 2015 : 12:12AM
^ I'm guessing they tried to spell "debut" phonetically as "daybiew" or something like that, and auto-correct did the best it could.
Yikes.

Senior Member

1959 Posts
11/07
Posted - Aug 12 2015 : 3:41PM
From a members comment on a Brazzers scene the other day, complaining about the lack of squirting in recent releases:
"it is litterly one of the biggest fetishes in america."
(At least not literly, which could give a whole different meaning to a comment about squirting...)
Edited by - shalalin on 8/12/2015 3:42:50 PM

Senior Member

Subterfuge......
17161 Posts
4/07
Posted - Aug 16 2015 : 4:27PM
From the Jonni Darkko thread Link to thread
Imaladyman
How about J for Jonni? A B/G scene with Summer Brielle or Sheridan Love. A B/g scene with Emmi Blake. A BGG scene with Morgan Lee and Aria Alexander. A BBG scene with Winston Churchill and Kianna Dior. A reverse gb scEne with any 4 of 5 of these sweeties...Rachele Richey, Karlww Grey, Cassidy Banks, Anya Ivy, Nina Elle, Jaye Austen, Josie Jagger, Carter Cruise, Ariaana Marie. Think Jonni is schlong overdue to treat himself to the honor of a tribute to himself. Think about it, Mr. Dee. Who wouldnkt want a sexromp with anyandall of these fineass birds? If JD isnr up to the task, maybe W for Winston would work out for his buddy. Winston Winning even maybe. The key is the ladies I named and either Mr Darkko, or Mr Burbank boner-rising to the occasion

Senior Member

1959 Posts
11/07
Posted - Aug 16 2015 : 9:20PM
^ I just hope "schlong overdue" was actually intentional, but with that poster it's hard to tell...

Senior Member

tGrump has no shortage of assholes.
6974 Posts
11/13
Posted - Aug 22 2015 : 10:02AM
This is actually a mixed metaphor, but a news commentator yesterday said that, "He nailed that one right out of the park...he nailed it out of the park."
Which reminds me a bit of a friend who says, "I wouldn't trust him with a 10 foot pole."

Senior Member

1251 Posts
3/10
Posted - Oct 1 2015 : 10:06PM
From an online story: "The woods were teaming with wildlife."
So the woods and the wildlife joined together on the same team; I wonder what opponent they were going against, since the world is teeming with possible foes.

Senior Member

1959 Posts
11/07
Posted - Oct 25 2015 : 6:27PM
Seen elsewhere today:

Senior Member

tGrump has no shortage of assholes.
6974 Posts
11/13
Posted - Jan 11 2016 : 3:40PM
A week or two ago, a friend was telling me about a person he knew with a hearing loss, who had gotten colloquial implants. A paragraph or so later, he repeated that. I love that guy; it's just cute.
The other day in a shop, a woman was earnestly and authoritatively telling another woman that she needed to try tree tea oil.* Adorable!
*It's tea tree oil.

Senior Member

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” - Kierkegaard
7236 Posts
8/09
Posted - Jan 11 2016 : 6:47PM

PS The cochlear implants team should have gotten the Nobel Prize in Medicine.

Senior Member

tGrump has no shortage of assholes.
6974 Posts
11/13
Posted - Jan 11 2016 : 8:49PM
To be fair, he pronounced it without the "w" or "u" sound, like collokial.

fubar

7535 Posts
12/09
Posted - Jan 29 2016 : 1:05AM
at bear minimum

Senior Member

tGrump has no shortage of assholes.
6974 Posts
11/13
Posted - Jan 29 2016 : 7:59PM
I'm certain I heard this right. A friend said that something was, "wrong or misconskewed."

Senior Member

1251 Posts
3/10
Posted - Feb 23 2016 : 5:14PM
From an online story: "News of the issues leading up to the formation of the Confederacy and cessation of Virginia and other states from the Union ... "
I wondered for a while what Virginia and the other states ceased doing. I guess, after the secession, they ceased being members of the Union.

Senior Member

1959 Posts
11/07
Posted - Mar 2 2016 : 5:49AM
From a promo email private.com sent me the other day:
Guess the female starlets can't wait to get a sniff of him.
 
Doctor of the Erotic Arts

goregoregirl.com
11853 Posts
1/09
Posted - Mar 2 2016 : 11:19AM
^

Senior Member

Carryin', contrarian, libertarian
10183 Posts
1/08
Posted - Apr 3 2016 : 2:47PM
From a like.com article:
A layman should own a dictionary.
 
Doctor of the Erotic Arts

goregoregirl.com
11853 Posts
1/09
Posted - Apr 4 2016 : 10:58AM
^ Maybe wrote a book about camel toe?

Senior Member

Carryin', contrarian, libertarian
10183 Posts
1/08
Posted - Apr 23 2016 : 4:09PM
From an IJReview.com story about Kelly Ripa's reaction to Michael Strahan leaving Live With Kelly and Michael.
It's pretty obvious this story mentioning Michael Strahan, one of the NFL's best-ever defensive linemen, a guy who blindsided many a quarterback in his day, was not written by someone who knows football.

Edited by - Cornell Lingus on 4/23/2016 4:10:24 PM

 
All-Star Member

Big cats scare me but...
4732 Posts
1/03
Posted - Oct 15 2017 : 2:05AM
Today, I realised I've been spelling 'palate' wrong all this time as 'palette'. I thought the word for an array of tastes was the same as the word for an array of colours.

Member

285 Posts
5/09
Posted - Oct 15 2017 : 7:18AM

Senior Member

tGrump has no shortage of assholes.
6974 Posts
11/13
Posted - Jun 3 2018 : 10:53AM
This wouldn't be too notable, except that a lawyer wrote it:
Deter.
 
All-Star Member

Sometimes life is goofier than a monkey on ether
12449 Posts
7/10
Posted - Jul 6 2018 : 6:51PM
natalia.JPG
Who knew that Natalie Starr was a pilot?

Senior Member

tGrump has no shortage of assholes.
6974 Posts
11/13
Posted - Jul 17 2018 : 12:08PM
The other day, I saw "water tied alibi" somewhere.

Senior Member

1959 Posts
11/07
Posted - Aug 16 2018 : 9:59AM
A Youtube comment about a computer game that was released recently with tons of bugs still present:
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